A Human Pet

A new soul screams out of a warm womb into the unknown.
No memories remain of warmth.
Uncontrollably the soul shivers in the cold,
Icy feeling of complete unrest.
The boy gets treated as the house pet.
Father kicks his new pet for amusement.
Mother lies and swears she’s there.
She hides dead eyes from the truth and wishes he would disappear.

Boy learns it’s better to be alone
Although inside he cries for love.
“Love must be another lie!” he screams.
Closes tired eyes and begins to dream.
Dreams of the only reality he’s ever known:
Father beats Mother then kicks pet’s head.

Still, somehow, this boy did grow,
Finding a light within, from where nobody knows.
So alone this soul, still seeking friends.
Alone seems safer until its End.
Discovering since his birth he wasn’t just their pet.
Finding solitude in his loneliness.

This soul turned thirty yesterday, this soul he refused to sell.
His lonely highs and empty nights, seems he used them quite well.
Soul now endlessly begs to rest,
Fighting off daily thoughts of death.

I see him now, it’s no surprise, I can see it in his yellowing glare.
Knowing enough not to play life’s silly game, caring more than we care.
Seemingly a bitter man outside, yet his heart truly bleeds.
Reality has been Hell from his very start,
From him they all came to feed,
Feed off the pet scarred from its birth.
Old soul, yet no one could tell.
Hard to feed off the pet sent here to teach.
What created this child’s hell?

Kicked from his confusing start, shows us now how big a heart,
Deep as the ocean’s deepest thought,
Truer than lies believed ’til we die,
Big as the sky that fills day and night.
Cries when he feels their tears,
Tears his soul knows well and has cried.
Humanity fades as childs’ minds disappear.

Once, dreams of childhood, there stands a pet, which no eye can see.
It stands straight ahead, it’s not a ghost, it’s not sent to scare.
Longing to insure he’s the last human pet, last child born to fear.
Inside he moans, it’s not a dream,
Another child soon becomes a pet.
He realizes no matter how sincere, he cannot change the world.

Tortured soul from birth, a pet now has died a lonely death.
Yet he has left us word to read to show how it would feel
To be kicked from the first memory of life and tossed into the world,
Beaten until they trained him right,
Child’s memory filled with fright.

Alone the pet now forever sleeps,
As more pets enter training.
In a world made up of tears, teachers try to reach dead ears,
Ears that don’t feel can’t hear a child’s pain.
This world belongs to the insane.

Deaf ears soon will ring and, oh too soon, may find out
When we deal children pain, they bleed more than we see.
Life’s not your game in which misery is your right to hand out.
Child’s soul, innocent and white.
You’ve destroyed a newborn life.
Not just a possession you’re free to destroy,
A soul has been lost.
A child’s soul you’ve stolen.
Tell me, what should be the cost?

Now maybe the hell you deal shall finally become real.
Your soul now becomes the pet you always wanted.
Now it’s time for your training, and I can’t sincerely wish you well.
A child’s will that you did break
Enjoy now in your Hell. 

D. A. Joy – June 12, 1994

Too Much — Myself

I live in a place where the trees no longer speak,
Where the giver of life lays down her weary head to rest.
The mountains are scared to show the beautiful peaks
For all will be torn away if she shows her beauty so true.

Now I walk alone down this tortured and forgotten road.
People push  me to the left then yell, “Go to the right!”
Come all ye lonely people, come and shed on me some light.
Some light, for I truly cannot see what you desire of me.

To look like you — to walk like you — to speak lies as you do

To laugh like you — to smile like you — to hide my tears so true.

To live like you — to care like you — only about myself.

To die like you — it won’t come true — I’ve died and been to hell.

I like in a place where the people are no longer living free,
Where the Government has the giver of life in chains
And Religion now takes the place of the human will with a demon’s face.
Yes it’s all been torn away, and we the weak become the prey.

Soulless people will all walk behind the demon in their dreams,
Their dreams of Riches and Fame in the Land of the Dancing Dead,
Dancing underneath a heaven they say for which my wretched soul should pray.
But this dance has already bled most of the life out of me.

To feel like you — to heal like you — only for my own gain.

To see like you — one-sided truth — resting in morbid pain.

To hide like you — from myself — only I know who I hate.

To pray like you — on bended knees — I’m cold and it’s much too late —

Too much — myself.

D. A. Joy – May 21, 1994 

The Mountain

I see a mountain I must climb.
By myself the search begins.
A new trail is chiseled in its side
Seeking to be reborn.

Climbing higher the air is thinning.
I’m almost to the top.
Climbing higher, mankind is fading.
Cannot look down — I must not stop.

For if I stop and look around
My feet may never feel the pleasure
Of standing alone on a mountain top high,
Feeling the wind through trees erase memories unkind.

Finding the stream of life I didn’t think was there,
For this mountain top has few troubles.
If it does I cannot tell.
With me alone this mountain sings with the trees.

A chorus in harmony — one with mother nature.
This is truly what I climb to seek.
So close to the top now I just must pursue
Feeling as I get higher and higher she will speak the truth.

Still keep on climbing and someday hope to find
The man I long to be — inner strength and peace of mind.

Hoping the mountain sets me free — this place I long to be:

Free. 

Turn the Screws

Looking into the eyes of today’s youth,
Seeing a generation of zombies, 
Wondering if they will ever see real truth
Or just another suit and tie, believing in economy.

Don’t know what to tell them, don’t know what to say.
Now’s the time for changes, for things to go our way.
I’ve tried and tried to listen, can’t tell who to believe.
When large corporations and government… all they do is deceive.

Don’t believe in what they say or do.
The more we try to break free, tighter they turn the screws.
Don’t fall prey to everything they say.
The more we seek truth, tighter they turn the screws.

Let me drag you through the darkness called my mind.
Love and life to me has surely been unkind.
Better to have loved, until the loss.
Heart and soul on the line; you will pay the cost.

Uncle Sam gets ahold of me through the mail:
“Come with me and fight, boy, or go to jail.”
Of course I ask them, what the hell is this?
Justice in America seems to be a myth.

Laugh at me so they can be accepted.
Deep inside I know that they believe.
See things falling apart, they have neglected
The most important thing, they can’t conceive.

Let us draw a line in the desert sand.
We shall let them all know where the hell we stand.
Can’t let them manipulate, take too much control.
Show them the blood that spills will surely taint their souls.

The more we try to break free, the tighter they turn the screws.

D. A. Joy – 1990
 

Low Life Style

I look like a mouse but I’m a rat.
Look like a bird but I’m a bat.
You think I’m this but I’m really that.

I think I’m your friend and enemy;
Just an illusion that you see.

If you think it’s safe
Turn your back on me.

Living downtown where it’s dark at night,
Try to prove me wrong but what is right?
You’ve seen my face under neon lights.

Condemn me
But let’s look at you.
Believe in the lies, who tells the truth?

What do you see, look me in the eyes,
Do you despise my kind?

Who says what’s real or just my fantasy.
Is this my dream, could it be reality?
Oh, can you tell me who really  knows?

Do we question authority or let it slide?
I’m your host
Not your tour guide.
Don’t walk in the dark or look deep inside.

Are those rainclouds or could it be fog?
Stuck in your suit with a lengthy monologue.
You claim I’m still living like a dog.

To you a ten speed, to me a bike.
My life’s rotten, yet yours is ripe.
And to you all this seems right.

You do despise by kind.
You sit and judge the way I live.
You think I live in sin, but what is it?

Should I change just for you?

Which God is right, I’m sure you have the proof.

I’ll never change my Low Life Style,
Cannot change this lifestyle for you.

Low Life Style — I’m WILD.

D. A. Joy – 1987 

Yes I Will Cry

When life becomes confusing, I’m not sure what keeps me going.
There must be an experience I’ve yet to live through.
Find myself gaining only to lose it all once more.
Back on the streets, left to dream inside my empty soul that screams.
Surprisingly surrounded by good friends, then suddenly alone again,
Like a moth that flies into a burning flame, I find only myself to blame.

Still for some strange, unexplained reason we continue to weather the passing seasons.
Beaten into no submission, no surrender, unknown condition.

As I sit by the sea, I think what there is that’s left;
If I knew, I wouldn’t continue, so I feel it’s time to guess.
All that I can figure is for me, the end comes quicker
Wanting no longer to be, hoping the end may set me free.

For I do not view death as my master of disaster.
I do not see heaven or hell, or believe in foreverafter.
My soul refuses to stay in one place for so long.
I feel that is truly why, in the end, few tears I’ll cry.

Now a beautiful butterfly passes by only to remind me
That I cannot fly, and she cannot set me free.
The pelicans and seagulls screech and pass me by.

Yes I will live another day, and yes I will cry.

Most people wonder, why does he feel so down?  Why does he hide?
With all he has to live for, still he finds no reason or rhyme.
So now I live for nothing, I’m just buying for a moment.
This life that feels like hell, not one understands how I feel.

Again the ocean and stars above make me believe in the spirit love.
Although I try to hide, I find once more, yes I will cry.

Yes I will cry for brothers and sisters who forever play the game.

Yes I will cry for lost souls like mine, and for the hearts inside the cage.

True, I shall live another day.

And yes I will cry!!!

Too Late to Wonder Why

Through all the lies and all the screams,
Seen through all the sorrowful vacant dreams,
Through all my wasted time in the mind well spent,
Even those times I swore my soul owed them no damn rent,

Still I pay the price so high,
Higher than trees that reach for skies blackened by dark eyes,
Higher than clouds that rest below the lonely stars or heaven’s glow,
A debt too high to take to a God who left so very long ago.

Lonely upon my only throne, my destiny called blackness,
High atop I’ll cry alone, insecure, heart so cold.
Insanity haunts my every move, don’t ask why or how.
Much too late to try to prove, too late to wonder why.

To wonder why I feel this restlessness deep within,
To try and try to feel happiness in this restless skin.
I breed the pain from childhood and from a mountain high.

Much too late to try to prove.
Too late to wonder why.

Through a Pirate’s Eye

I want my life to be flowing and free.
When madness stalks my mind
Like the currents of the neverending sea,
Time to finally steal what’s rightfully mine.

Out of the fog a voice calls my name so strong,
An ancient symbol steals away my thoughts in rhyme.
Who’s got control?
Can never take away what’s already mine.
I own this soul.

I was just a pirate cast aside
Like a ship without a sail,
No treasure left to find.
Loneliness as deep as the water I must cross.
Humanity inside crevices, trapped until it rots.

Morality loses face to what can never be:
Animals rule – we are no Gods – this is what I see.
Afterlife so far away
So why should we live in fear
Of God’s son who came to save
What was never really here.

In this image I was not created – still I shall exist.
Godlike I can never be, sailing through life’s cold mist,
Fear of a name, faceless bastard that was slain.
They say although his face may never show
You must have blind faith
In a book written by men claiming to be saints.

All I feel and believe is in the sail I’ve lost.
For every day my neverending testament I breed,
Life made new through the beauty of water named the sea.
Men that claim I’m immoral, cheat their way into you
To take all the sea’s coral and kill the sky so blue.

But this is what I live for:
Speaking from the heart that’s pure.
Only death’s final kiss will stop me from living this.
Some may claim I’m self-indulgent – they speak the truth.
In another man I cannot believe;
No God I’ll trust, for he’ll deceive.

My ship, the closest thing to my soul, at times lets me down.
Listening to my heart’s desire, running naked through life’s fire,
Burning passion has forsaken me,
But never has the beauty named the sea.

Salt air in my veins, my blood blue like the ocean,
Another lonely setting sun, still I’m not the lonely one.
For I have found my way – I’ll live to sail another day.

Only death’s final kiss will stop me from living this.